Weekly update

I'm really busy at work and working on all my goals for the year. I am having trouble keeping up with my blogging.

I have been spending a lot of time working on my CCNA certification. I am also reading a book on Risk Management for my PMI certification.

After I sprained my ankle, I wasn't able to run for a week. I went out on Tuesday alone and actually ran nearly 4 miles at a pace of less than 9 minutes per mile. Not bad.

Other than that, still plugging away.
-- Maddog

More goals

I was looking at LuluLemon and saw I had two goals defined that I didn't list here. So here the are:

Goal #6 - Pay off 3 store credit cards.
Goal #7 - run in one 10K and two 5K races while working out 6 days a week.

I am looking to run a 5K in early November with Boots, possibly in St. Clair.


We went for a run on Sunday. After about 1/4 of a mile, I twisted my ankle. I proceeds to run another 4 miles on it. Probably not my brightest move. But I don't think it is any worse than if I had stopped. We are supposed to run tomorrow morning and I think I should be okay.

Sunny October

Today is a sunny October morning here in Michigan. I'm enjoying some coffee on the deck before getting into what has turned out to be a hectic Saturday.

I have volunteered to run one of the cameras at my church. We attend services at what people call a Mega Church. Services area held I an auditorium which seats more than 1000 people. There is a live band each week (mostly rock type music) and two huge screens on which the entire festivities are projected. I will be running one of the five cameras that are used to capture the production. Today is my first day and while I am not exactly nervous, I am a bit apprehensive. This is outside my comfort zone. Everyone who work on my team seem like they have been doing this a long time. Two weeks ago when I watched from the production room, the director didn't have to instruct the camera crew on what to do. They seemed to know instinctively. I know that comes with experience, but I am a perfectionist and want to run before I can crawl.

Later tonight (actually early tomorrow morning) I am heading to work to install a new piece of hardware. So it feels like this sunny October weekend is shot before it begins.

As far as my goals go, I am writing today, so check that one off my list. No new progress on my PMI certification - I plan on investigating more of the free courses next week. For the CCNA cert, I read some more of the book I got. I am planning on cooking Beef Bourginon tomorrow. The Masters program has had no progress.

Boots and I ran on both Tuesday and Thursday, about 3.5 miles each time.

The start of a new trek

Alright, here I am, writing much later than I had originally planned, as promised (not the late part, just the writing part). Again, I am on the computer, this time because my phone's battery was low.

I have set my goals! The site I used had you start with your 10 year goals, then set the 5 year goals to work with those and then set your 1 year goals. So that is what I did. However, I will only reveal my 1 year goals here. Not because I am embarrassed by my long term goals, but that all of my long term goals will be a product of my short term goals and are only being worked on by working on the shorter ones. I may refer to the long term, but that is only for clarification.

Goal #1: Post once a week on this blog - no explanation needed.
Goal #2: Renew my PMI certification - I am a certified Project Manager. I have had this certification for the past 5 years. Every 3 years, you have to re-certify. To do this, you simply have to prove continuing education or work in the project management field. You need 60 personal development units (PDU's)of this work to re-certify; no test or money (other than what it might cost to take courses, etc.). I entered this year needing 45.5 PDUs and I must renew by November of 2011. Progress: Identified and scheduled several free courses that I can take for 1 PDU each and have obtained 3 PDUs this week.
Goal #3: Get my Cisco Certified Network Administrator certification - In my work role as Telecommunications Manager, I spend a lot of time dealing with network issues. By obtaining my CCNA, I will be better prepared to handle issues and understand strategically where we need to go as a company. Progress: I checked out a book from the library on CCNA certification and am in the middle of the first chapter. I have also done some preliminary investigation into the certification test.
Goal #4: Prepare to enroll in a masters program - The long term goal here is pretty evident. This goal has several parts. It includes identifying what program I would like to get my masters in (business vs. a computer oriented program), identifying (and possibly taking) any prerequisite courses needed for the program, taking the GMAT if necessary. Progress: No progress on this goal.
Goal #5: Cook 1 meal a week - I really like cooking and want to improve my skills in that area. What better way to do that than to do actual cooking? Progress: I cooked a new version of Shrimp Etouffee this week. A bit disappointing. I was more like gumbo than the other etouffee I have made. I didn't dislike it, but was expecting something less soupy and thicker. I may try thickening some of the leftovers to see if I like that better.

So there you have it, my goals for the year. I may not achieve all of them, but if I don't try, I will achieve none of them.

Not much running this week - We (Boots and I) got out once. Maybe today we will go out.

-- Maddog

Goals

Here I sit at my 45th birthday, wondering where I go from here. Last night I was lying in bed thinking about the past year and trying to remember what had taken place since my last birthday. Honestly, I had trouble remembering anything, partly because so much happened and partly because it is difficult for me to keep track of the timeline (did that happen in the past year or was that two years ago?).

This made me start thinking about goals. I have never been much of a goal planner, especially long term goals (the question "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" always put me in a cold sweat). I have taken life as it has been dealt to me. This may not be the most proactive approach, but it had two things going for it: 1) I didn't have to do a lot of soul searching to see what I wanted to be doing and 2) I didn't have to face failure if a goal wasn't reached.

I was reading a blog that I like to follow on Runners World yesterday and the writer was talking about goals. She said that 50% of the goals you set are never reached. And she wasn't saying that this is a bad thing. At first, I looked at this as failing half the time. Then it hit me, this is actually succeeding half the time. A saying came to mind - you fail at 100% of the things you never try.

Back in 2009, my wife Boots and I attended Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. We learned how it is important to plan for you money to get control of it. This has been a major success. While we are not 100% perfect, we are much better than we had been and it illustrated the importance of planning.

So, as I enter my 45th year, I am going to set some goals. The article I read mentioned a website that the author used for setting her goals, lululemon.com. I went there and began planning for the next 10 years of my life. One of my goals for this year is to use this blog as a journal about my goals for the year. I will post at least once a week, which, considering my inconsistancy in posting, will be a major achievement in itself. It should also keep me focused on what I am working on.

I am posting this from a computer. I wrote a similar post on my phone and when I went to save it, the words went off to la-la land with no way to recover them. I will probably try again, but will attempt to copy the post before saving.

I will post the goals that I have in the next entry. But now it is time to celebrate my birthday by heading out for the day with Boots.

Traffic jams and other emotional hazards

This morning I got up a few minutes earlier than normal, rushed through my routine and got out the door as quickly as possible. I wanted to get to work early so I could get some stuff done and head home from work by 4:00 PM.

About half way to work, I jumped onto the expressway. After a half mile, I see brake lights - not a good sign. After I passed the last available exit, I hear on the radio that there is an accident about a mile up in the construction zone. For some reason, I am terrible in traffic jams. I feel my stress level go up as I slow down. It drives me crazy watching people cruise up a lane that they know is closing just to get abed of the idiots waiting in line (like me). Well, after 20 minutes of mounting stress, I made it past the issue - someone on the other side of the expressway hit he concrete barrier moving it into one of our lanes. The police had the left lane closed. I made past and cruised to work, fuming that my plans had been destroyed and mad at myself for taking that route. I am still feeling the stress 6 hours later.

My wife doesn't understand why I get so stressed, and honestly I can't explain it myself. But I do need to work on it. Too much stress will kill me.

Just another thing on my laundry list of items.

-- Maddog

Just another day

Here I am on Wednesday. Just another day in the week. Nothing much going on. The girls took their test to try and test out of Spanish today and said it was hard. I worked out this morning and am tired. My wife and I ran yesterday evening to prep for a 5K race coming up. Other than that, a pretty dull day. At work I am jumping from one issue to another and can't get to the things I should be working on.

I think I'll take a lunch nap.

-- Maddog

Quick update

I wrote a whole post and then hit the wrong button and erased the whole thing. I'm going to bed

New beginnings

Yesterday was a big day. This was not planned or expected, it just happened. Two events made the day exceptional, one event being huge, the other relatively small but both representing a new beginning.

The larger event was my baptism. We attend a large church (some might call it a MegaChurch) and they had announced months ago that they would be doing baptisms in August. I was baptized as a child and have never felt a need to do it again, but every time the church announced they were doing baptisms part of me felt that maybe I should do it. This feeling was never strong enough to even go so far as to look into it, and so nothing ever happened. When we got to church yesterday, I had completely forgotten about the event. Only when we walked in and saw the two small pools on the stage did I remember. Now when I say small pools, I don't want you to imagine a kiddie pool. These were 3 or 4 feet deep and about 8 feet round. They had 24 people slated for baptism but the pastor said if anyone felt the calling, the could just walk up, as long as they didn't mind going home wet. The service went on and it was quite moving. Some of the participants shared their stories with us about why they were doing it. As they were playing the last song of the service, my wife looked over at my middle daughter and asked here if she wanted to go up. She did and suddenly, the whole family was up on stage waist deep in cold water being baptized. The ride home was a bit uncomfortable, but sharing the experience with my wife and daughters was something I would not trade for anything.

The second smaller thing was a birthday gift. My birthday is more than a month off, but my wife knew that I would love to have a new pan to do my cooking in. The pan I currently have is probably 12 quart and is an old ceramic on steel pot (much like the old camping cookware, except in white). I love this pot. It has been all over the country to assist in my cooking exploits - from New Orleans to Rochester, NY. But it is getting old and the bottom of the pot is not flat, making it difficult to make a good roux without it burning. The new pot is 20 quart, stainless steel and has a flat bottom. I will use it today to make a new seafood gumbo recipe. I am excited for the new recipe and to use the pan!

So, today I am working on new beginnings. In my spiritual life, I want to be a better follower of Christ and a better leader for my family. In my cooking life, I am looking forward to new challenges and adventures. Wish me luck on both.

-- Maddog

Now you're cooking!!

As part of my soul searching I have been asking myself, what do you like to do? More or less, what are your hobbies. In the past, this would have been simple - sports. Any sport, anywhere, any time. And it wasn't just playing, it was watching and following too. I remember back in the summer of 1983 being able to quote the number of strikeouts Jack Morris had for the season as of that day. But it wasn't jus baseball. I would jump from sport to sport with the same fervor. But slowly this died down. Part of it was lack of time - being married with three children and a full time job can do that. Part of it was the pointlessness of it all - every season is the same and there is no intrinsic value in following sports other than entertainment and part of it is the strikes and lockouts that have plagued pro sports in the past two decades. Now don't get me wrong, I still follow the local teams and like to watch an occasional game, but most of my watching is done in short spurts to catch up on the score while doing stuff around the house. I'm not complaining, just illustrating a point.

So, with the loss of my sports obsession, what do I like to do now. I would say there are five things I would list as hobbies - fishing, playing piano, learning Spanish, running and cooking. Of these, the only two I do much of are running and cooking.

I'm not sure why I like cooking so much. Maybe it it the process of doing everything. I like it best when I am chopping my own vegetables, getting everything together and cooking the meal. Sometimes, due to time constraints, my wife will cut up the veggies for me. While I appreciate her help I don't feel as connected to the food. I like to take the long process. Today, I am making my own chicken stock for use in a gumbo I will make tomorrow. Usually I use a paste mixed with water to make the stock and it turns out fine. But this takes the association with the food to the next level. I have to commit two hours of my morning to making something that usually takes five minutes. I am hoping the difference will be noticeable. Even if it isn't I am happy because I am cutting out the shortcut. I had planned on making enough to freeze for future use, but the recipe I am making tomorrow will use up all of it. And that is okay. It will be an excuse to make more. I think I will try to do more cooking in the future. It is a better use of my time than surfing the web.

-- Maddog

Job stress

My boss had me review the job description for the telecommunications and network manager for the proposed new company. Even though nothing has been approved, the people working on this want to have as much possible in place should they decide to move forward. So I was reviewing this job description for what would essentially be the replacement for my job and had to laugh because I could have used it to update my resume.

I like to think that this is a good sign and that my boss is eyeing me for this position, but am taking nothing for granted. I have started working on looking into the general concept for networks, firewalls and telecommunications. The reason for this is that I know the technologies we use inside and out, but the new company will be involved in different technologies. I don't want to know everything to the level that I know the current systems, but I do need to be better rounded to manage the technologies that are being proposed.

I have written for 6 days now. Not a bad start. I am not committing to writing every day, but I do think it helps me to look at how I am feeling.

-- Maddog

Running

The title of this blog is taken from the Matthew Wilder song from the 80's of the same name. I like it because it is how I would like to live my life.

Too many times, the mood of someone or some off-hand comment can hit me like a ton of bricks and send me in a figurative tailspin. I would love to be at a place where I don't care what anyone thinks and I can just be myself. Again, this goes back to knowing who you are, but if no external influence is affecting you, it would be easier to "be yourself".

That is my ideal. I want to work on that.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

We are facing possible big changes in our life.

My employer is a child company of a large German conglomerate. The proposal has been made to move the IT operations groups for all of the North American child companies into a new separate company. The CIO of my company as well as my boss were the leads in developing the proposal. The decision as to whether it will actually happen is in the hands of our German parent company. The decision is supposed to be made on September 17th. So we wait.

If this does happen (I seem to be starting every sentence like that anymore), it will mean big changes for at least myself and possibly my family. The new company would mean that my current job is going away. To be part of the new company, I would have to be hired in. If I am hired, it will most probably mean relocating to either Dallas, Atlanta or Charlotte, NC. Ann Arbor is also in the running, but it sounds like that is a distant fourth right now. So either way, if this happens, my life will change significantly.

And so I wait for Sept. 17th.

-- Maddog

Finding myself

How can you find who you really are? Between the different roles you have in life and the expectations that are on you, how do you keep from losing your identity. More than that, how can you figure out who you really are through all of the noise?

I don't feel like I have ever really known who I was. I am a pleaser by nature so I think I have always lived my life that way. You might say I have taken the path of least resistance. It was easier to be who everyone thought I should be instead of being myself. Or maybe that was who I really was. It is really hard to say.

But now, I want to take a good look at who I am. I want to understand myself. The question is, How???

What defines what you really are? Is it what you like to do, the roles you play in life or the way others perceive you? I don't want to be defined by others or use my job to say who I am. And while being a husband and a father are roles I cherish, those roles cannot be all I am. Children grow up and move on with their lives and marriages can go through ups and downs. I have to be more than that.

I think it has to do with a higher calling. Who God wants me to be. Something to think about.

Sorry this post is not as concise or clear as my others, but this blog is for me after all and the questions I am struggling with are difficult to even put into words, much less answer.

-- Maddog

On the edge

I feel like in on the edge today. Actually I have felt this way for a while. It feels like a small push could send me over the edge into the depths of despair. Part of it could be fatigue. I just started working out again after a two month layoff - the equipment had been put away for our friends daughters graduation party. Part of it could be sleepiness - I'm not used to getting up at 4:00. Whatever it is, I don't like it.

I am hoping that blogging will help with my moods. I was reading my previous posts and it is amazing how little has changed in two years. I am still running although I have never hit the consistency I want. I am still dealing with the whole heart disease thing even though I have not had any real issues in two years. And I am still fighting depression.
I found out about six months ago that my brother also fights depression. He never said so in so many words, but made mention that he takes "happy pills". I have not thought about getting medicated for depression. Maybe I will look into natural solutions though. I will have to check it out.

That's it for today. I want to try and squeeze in a lunchtime nap. Gotta deal with those early mornings some how.

--Maddog

Blogging from my iPhone

I got an iPhone a few months ago and decided to try one of the blogging apps that were out there. But first, I had to figure out what my password was. I hadn't blogged in over a year and hadn't written it down. To make matters worse, I had changed e-mail accounts during that time. After many tries and much frustration, I figured it out.
Then I tried one of the packages out there. I logged in and started a post. The first thing I found is that it did not allow me to type in landscape mode, only portrait. That is fine for quick text messages, but for a blog, the one finger typing is a little tedious. Strike one.
Then I exited the app while still in the draft of my post. When I went back in everything I wrote was gone. Strike two.
I wasn't in the mood for a strikeout, so I downloaded a different app. So far so good. It has landscape typing and allows for formatting of text like bold and italics.
I will test the saving of drafts after posting - don't want to lose what I already typed

Success!! I posted without a problem and found a way to save a draft. Just need to figure out formatting and I'm all set.